- -waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
- -hears him singing-
- me: will you quit singing?
- brother: what?
- me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
- brother: WOMAN
- brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
- brother: MY BALLS
- brother: AND MY SOUL
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."
"I don’t get it."
"What’s not to get."
"Why would she make you a sandwich?"
"Because… She’s a girl."
"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"
"I can make myself a sandwich."
"Cool, go make me one too."
[Smooth Criminal plays]